Simon Metcalf Photography

Once upon a time in the Town of John, there lived a handsome young pillock born of good British stock. He was inevitably bound for the penal colonies, but for the hand of a fair maiden from the House of Marchesi, a woman with a heart of gold whose love of furkids was unmatched in all the land. They were betrothed, in no small part because of their mutual love of di-hydrogen oxide. And ‘twas his good fortune so, for being married to the mob is not without its benefits. Thus he began his charmed and romantic life shooting people.

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